This brought an incredible pressure and anxiety about my life. I would go through periods of time, that despite being a person of faith, I was terrified that the rapture would happen right after I had sinned - thus making me "left behind." I would constantly fret over this, taking a personal inventory and praying for forgiveness for sins real or imagined.
If I came home expecting to see my family, and they weren't home, I would panic - like this girl:
I don't even find this video funny because I have experienced this panic before - it just makes me anxious. I can remember coming home to an empty house and being so terrified that the rapture had happened, but I was too afraid to try and call my mom or dad because if they didn't answer it would just confirm that I had been "left behind."
There was also this sense that I was supposed to desire the "coming of the Lord" as soon as possible - but I didn't. I wanted to grow up and experience being an adult. I wanted to drive a car. Mostly, I wanted to have sex. I often prayed for Jesus to come back, with the addendum that he just wait until I got married first. This always made me feel guilty, like I was putting my own human desires ahead of the plan of Heaven and will of God.
I can also remember being taught that despite no one knowing the day or the hour, that Jesus wouldn't return until every living person had been witnessed to. As a believer, this made a certain logical sense - if God was just, he couldn't punish people by sending them to hell if they had never had the opportunity to believe. I cannot even begin to describe the logical loopholes for people who had lived and died without hearing the good news. This put an incredible pressure on me - I felt that if as a Christian I was supposed to desire the second coming, I had a responsibility to try and witness to people to spur on the coming of the rapture.
I don't think I am unique in this position among people who grew up believing this. I want to hear your stories in the comments.
For an index of posts from "Rapture! Week" go here.

