The Rapture - Making it Personal

Growing up, I went to an Evangelical, non-denominational K-12 school and my dad was a pastor at church that was affiliated with the church that had started the school. In fact, the school was started by my grandfather who was the senior pastor at that church. Between school, church, youth group and summer camp my adolescence was filled to the brim with Christianity and talking about being prepared for the rapture. I cannot even begin to count the times I was told that we were in the last days.

This brought an incredible pressure and anxiety about my life. I would go through periods of time, that despite being a person of faith, I was terrified that the rapture would happen right after I had sinned - thus making me "left behind." I would constantly fret over this, taking a personal inventory and praying for forgiveness for sins real or imagined.

If I came home expecting to see my family, and they weren't home, I would panic - like this girl:

I don't even find this video funny because I have experienced this panic before - it just makes me anxious. I can remember coming home to an empty house and being so terrified that the rapture had happened, but I was too afraid to try and call my mom or dad because if they didn't answer it would just confirm that I had been "left behind."

There was also this sense that I was supposed to desire the "coming of the Lord" as soon as possible - but I didn't. I wanted to grow up and experience being an adult. I wanted to drive a car. Mostly, I wanted to have sex. I often prayed for Jesus to come back, with the addendum that he just wait until I got married first. This always made me feel guilty, like I was putting my own human desires ahead of the plan of Heaven and will of God.

I can also remember being taught that despite no one knowing the day or the hour, that Jesus wouldn't return until every living person had been witnessed to. As a believer, this made a certain logical sense - if God was just, he couldn't punish people by sending them to hell if they had never had the opportunity to believe. I cannot even begin to describe the logical loopholes for people who had lived and died without hearing the good news. This put an incredible pressure on me - I felt that if as a Christian I was supposed to desire the second coming, I had a responsibility to try and witness to people to spur on the coming of the rapture.

I don't think I am unique in this position among people who grew up believing this. I want to hear your stories in the comments.

For an index of posts from "Rapture! Week" go here.